im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
