No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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