just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
