Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
