True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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