we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize