Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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