Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
