Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
