Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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