never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
