Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
