I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
