I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize