at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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