i barfeds in our rink
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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