the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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