Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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