i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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