i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize