if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
what day is it and did you see me today?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
