Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Can you bring me the toilet please
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
