Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
