she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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