is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize