i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
