maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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