margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
