He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
