He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
