He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
