I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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