eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
