sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
