eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize