people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
