How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
