He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
