Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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