Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
