She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
