the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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