she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
