i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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