never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
