they need to just BURY HIM!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
