I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
