I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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