Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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