the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize