Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
