When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
