dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
