I have demons in me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Let's get the cat blown out
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
