just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
