We're like a lot better than the average bears
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
