no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You are a genius and a whore.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize