Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
