Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize