I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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