Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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