I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
