Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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