dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
