whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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