Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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