My entire life is one complicated drinking game
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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