this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize