they need to just BURY HIM!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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