Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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