whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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