My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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