Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
