I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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