My hand turned me down
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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